Whiskey Lullaby
by xMcSwarekDreamer
Summary: A McSwarek songfic from Oliver Shaw's point of view! First ever published fanfiction. Anyone that know's the song know's dark themes; such as sucide.


**My first ever fanfiction. I'm not sure if i like it, so reviews would be greatly appreciated.**

**Disclamier: I do NOT own Rookie Blue ((SamSwarek i would love too though ;) )) i also don't Whiskey Lullaby by Braid Paisley. **

Oliver Shaw's life hadn't been the same in years. For a matter of fact nobody at the 15th divison's life was the same. The memories of Sam Swarek and Andy McNally raw in their mind. The unbreakable love they shared.  
>"Is it ok if flick the radio on?" Dov asked. Oliver didn't answer. Just nodded. He flinched at the sound of Braid Paisley's Whiskey Lullaby as it penetrated the silence. His knuckles turning white as he hardened the grip he had on the steering while. He squeezed his eye's shut as he tried to shake off the memories of his best friend.<p>

**She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette  
>She broke his heart he spent his whole life tryin' to forget<br>We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time  
>But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind<br>Until the night**

He had known something was going on between Sam Swarek and his rookie from the moment she took him down in that alley. His suspicion's only confirmed when she had risked her life in order to save Sam's. No sane copper turns their back on a man with a gun inless their was a reason. They were confirmed when Sam ran into a collapsing building to rescue her. That's why he couldn't understand when she chose Luke. Why she left Sam out in the dark and went home with Luke. Only hearing words like 'safe choice' and 'good guy'. He stood back and watched the change in Sam Swarek. The way his infamous dimples never really reached his eye's. The way his dark orbs flared with sadness and regret everytime he saw her with him. Oliver spent many times sat next to him in The Black Penny. Drink after drink. Until the memories of Andy McNally succumbed and vanished into the bottle of scotch or beer.

**He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger  
>And finally drank away her memory<br>Life is short but this time it was bigger  
>Than the strength he had to get up off his knees<br>We found him with his face down in the pillow  
>With a note that said I'll love her till I die<br>And when we buried him beneath the willow  
>The angels sang a whiskey lullaby<strong>

Oliver blamed himeslf. He blamed himself for leaving Sam alone that fateful night. Her tear strewn face and screams forever etched in his brain. He squeezed his eye's tighter, shaking his head as if to try and shake he memory from his mind. "I'll love her till i die" Her voice broke as she collapsed into his arms reading the note left next to his body. He remembered his funeral. The whole divison turned out in black and white. He remembered the sound of the gun salute. He remembered Sarah Swarek's pale face as Frank passed her Sam's police hat. He remembered Andy silently weeping, the rest of the rookie's cascading around her like a security blanket.

**The rumors flew but nobody know how much she blamed herself  
>For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath<br>She finally drank her pain away a little at a time  
>But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind<br>Until the night**

Oliver didn't listen to the rumors that spread like wildfire around 15th division but he knew she had heard them. The way she moved on autopilot. Her face forever blotchy from the endless nights crying. The smile Sam loved never making an apperance. She tried to hide her feelings. She tried to hide the smell of achoal that radiated off her. Oliver's memory's took him back to The Black Penny this time it was Andy sat next to him. Drinking and drinking until Sam Swarek was no longer a memory.

**She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger  
>And finally drank away his memory<br>Life is short but this time it was bigger  
>Than the strength she had to get up off her knees<br>We found her with her face down in the pillow  
>Clinging to his picture for dear life<br>We laid her next to him beneath the willow  
>While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby<strong>

His eye's stung with tears willing to fall as he remembered that moment her body was found. His whole body shook as the memory of her lifeless frame filled his mind, her arms tightly gripped around a photo of him. The smile that would be forever etched on her pale pout. He imagined of her eye's fluttering shut. Sam's Swarek dimpled grin the last thing she saw. His eye's flickered as memory changed. Now he was stood in the middle of the filed where they had buried him. The sun burning free in the clear blue sky. The 15th divison weeping for their lost comrade's as Tommy McNally placed a yellow rose onto his daughter's tombstone.

"Oliver...Oliver...you ok." Dov Epstein's voice brought him back from his memories. His eye's burned holes into the radio as the last few notes of the song dragged out. He glanced at Dov who looked worried, staring back at his senior officer.

"Yeah Epstein i'm ok." For the first time since the death of Sam Swarek and Andrea McNally he smiled.

"There togother now..." he mumbled under his breath.

**Thank you :)...remember to review. PLEASE xx**


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